Here you are, Mast.
I have something for you.
You might already have it.
I quite like it. Open it.
Boy.
You really shouldn't have.
Here... Look...
It's for your birthday.
Look, you can use it for coffee too.
Thanks, son.
I'll make good use of it.
Very good, son.
Nothing's more important than your health.
Okay. Drive. Go, go, go!
Don't hang about.
Drive, drive, drive...
Bennie?
Dammit. What can we do? Fuck...
What have you done now?
I said: Straight through the front, not in the plants!
Let's get out of here. Dammit. - Don't go. Don't go. Come and help.
Bennie, boy.
There's 400 grand here that I could've had in my pocket. I won't forget this.
Mast! - Bennie!
TOO FAT TOO FURIOUS
5 YEARS AND 8 MONTHS LATER
Hey Bennie! Bennie.
They let you out at last? Turn off the fucking noise.
I don't want to hear that loser either.
Now reverse. Bennie, they let you out at last?
No. I'm fetching soap for the warder.
I say, Bennie. About that debt of yours. I have a job...
I'm not interested. Five years is enough. Give me my snack bar.
I don't think so. Unless you want it to have wooden drapes.
No, it's not closing. - No? You want to bet?
Chuck him out.
This is my cousin Vuck.
He's pretty good with electricity.
He can work on your snack bar. He can connect things up.
I don't need your Vuck.
His mother's worried about him.
So he's going to work for you until you've done my job.
I'll see you tomorrow at the first meeting.
Off we go.
Oh that's right, Ben. Welcome home.
Fucking Turk!
Where did you buy your driver's license? Uzbekistan?
The crust looks firm.
And the mushy peas contrast beautifully.
Bennie...?
We thought you would be released tomorrow...
Where's my snack bar?
Here...
We baked a quiche specially...
You were away five years... ...and eight months.
People want something different.
So Peter did a cookery course in quiches...
This is Vuck.
He's into electricity.
Electricity? There's nothing wrong with that.
There is now.
Where's Mast?
Why didn't Mast come to fetch me?
Bennie?
Eh, that's my car. Is it for me?
It's for you.
What's the matter?
It's the liver.
I only have a few weeks.
It's all over, Bennie.
There's one thing you can do for me, Bennie.
I never told you, but...
...I have another son...
When I was flying the Tokyo run, I got involved with a stewardess.
She was pretty crazy.
We had a great weekend.
A few months later she told me she was pregnant.
You know how these things go.
His name is Koen.
I've never seen him.
She was so crazy.
I only have this photo of him.
And now you want Bennie to go and fetch him.
Yes, I don't have much time.
Where is Koen? - Belgium.
Yes, but where? - You heard him, in Belgium.
In Liège...
In jail...
A couple of unpaid parking fines.
I don't think you gentlemen understand. This is a hospital.
Are you allowed to smoke in a hospital?
Now get lost, go on.
Get out.
I'd love to see him, Bennie.
Hello, Mr Mast.
Does it hurt when I press here?
Hey! You!
My father just told me he's been given up.
You said you can't do anything?
Not much.
Unfortunately Mr Mast is not eligible for an organ donation.
Come again?
Mr Mast is in very bad shape... - He didn't have an easy life.
I'd like to see you at his age. Shut up, man!
I'm talking to the doctor!
You see, there just aren't enough donors.
I can have a few tramps run over in no time.
The donor has to have the same blood type. Preferably a relative.
I am a relative.
But you weren't the real son, were you?
You were adopted, weren't you? And if you donate your liver, you'll die.
A dead relative is preferable.
Okay.
Add a little flour. A little salt. An egg...
Nice jumper.
From Mast? - You have 15 minutes to pack.
What for?
We're going to Belgium. We have to fetch Mast's son.
Right now?
That's the jail. Think of a plan to free him on the way...
We were about to go to a quiche competition.
You have 15 minutes.
Bennie, what we don't understand...
What's a kid with parking fines doing in Belgium's top security jail.
Life isn't fair.
So, you have a plan. Come on. - Okay. Bennie. This is you.
Bennie, this is you.
Okay, at visiting time, the guards take you to see Koen.
And Koen is here, in the exercise yard.
In the meantime, we set up a platform in a street beside the jail.
And if we place it at maximum height and at a 45 degree angle with that pole...
...then we can shoot a hook with a bungee cord and a cable.
We fix it to this pole...
...and all you have to do is grab Koen and cut the cord...
We will have put some mattresses on a building site where you can land.
The car will be there too, so we can drive straight back to Holland.
Fine.
Let's go for it.
HIGHEST SECURITY JAIL IN LIEGE
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Koen? Your father wants to see you.
Koen.
Your father wants to see you.
I don't have a father.
We're going to escape. Come on.
Let go.
Christ almighty.
Come here.
Now!
Bennie!
I hadn't counted on the dog. - Shut up!
This is your father. He wants to see you. Is that clear?
Well, I'm starving.
No way. You stay here and watch him.
D'you want anything?
Yes... I'd like a ciabatta with mozzarella.
Or, no. Make it...
...an organic gorgonzola club sandwich. - Cheese sandwich?
Then the Taipei representative left the UN.
Local news: A dangerous gangster escaped from Liège prison today.
He hasn't yet been caught.
Koen M. Is serving a life sentence for the rape and murder of five women.
He was aided with his escape... - I thought it was for parking fines...
Yes, that too. - A guard and a dog were seriously hurt.
Bennie, he killed five women. And raped them.
They didn't feel a thing.
They were already dead.
She fell...
Come on.
You look like me, a little.
You also have a...
I always sent your mother a card on your birthday.
Did you ever get them?
What did they say?
Happy birthday.
You were looking for me? - Promise me...
...you won't cry when I'm gone.
You'd found a suitable donor? I gathered. - Where are you going? Can I come too?
I'm going to die, kid.
No.
But you'll live on, kid. That's what's important.
I made a mistake.
Hey, Bennie.
Look at that. He's still polishing his dad's wreck.
Has he been buried yet, or must he die first?
You forgot me, didn't you? Yesterday.
And I... Christ almighty.
I sat waiting.
Where were you?
Perhaps it's my mistake. I didn't make myself clear.
So I brought a few colleagues.
I'll explain it again. Maybe then you'll understand.
Hit it!
Shit!
I hope it isn't broken.
What a pity.
I don't think he quite understands.
Christ, you did it again?
Are you listening now?
You're doing a job for me? Remember? A little risk. A lot of money.
You get instructions in two days.
And remember... Today it's headlamps, tomorrow kneecaps. Dickhead!
You think that's funny, do you? Fish head.
It's quite simple. You can't get a legal liver anywhere.
The organ trade is illegal.
Delicious quiche.
Is that leak?
No, no. - Endive?
Yes. What about illegal?
Eastern bloc, sometimes. But I wouldn't stake my life on it.
You're sure no relative died?
No, are there any other options? - Bolivia, of course.
You can have anything replaced for a price.
What does it cost?
About 300 grand. Euro.
Can I have some more quiche? For my wife.
I want her to taste it.
Hello! May I? I'm just...
I think I can get a discount.
It'll still be about 270 thousand.
Where will you get the money?
GG BANK NORTHERN DISTRICT
I want to transfer some money.
Katia Willaert?
The transfer is the sum of your assets. You know that?
And you want to transfer that to...
Lars Meuleman?
Yes. Lars Meuleman, "The Amsterdam Hammer". European boxing champion.
Could we hurry it up!?
Stating that it's an... inheritance.
Is there room for a comment? - Certainly.
"I don't want...
"...to see you and that blonde slut...
"...at my funeral...
"Asshole."
Is that too much?
Not at all.
He was so happy.
Then he made me this drawing.
Lovely, isn't it?
Mast...
Hello?
Koen.
Can you talk a little louder?
I'm robbing a bank!
I have them all covered! - What?
Now what? - Have you gone crazy?
We need money for Dad, don't we?
Make the staff stand by the wall, away from the counter.
Don't do anything without me. Just wait.
That was Koen, at the bank.
He's having trouble filling in a deposit form.
I'm glad you get on so well together.
It may sound grand, European boxing champion but it's all fixed.
They agree in advance who's going to win.
Be quiet! - No! I don't care who hears.
It's all fake!
On Friday, Lars Meuleman is going down in the second minute of the third round...
Shut your face!
Or else...
Or else what?
I'll shoot you!
Go ahead.
Hey, it's Bennie!
Lie down! All of you! Lie down!
Okay, come on. Fill it with money. Now! Come on!
Hello?
Might this be yours?
Ah, yes. Right. Merci.
Lie down! Come on!
My jacket, Fatso!
Who's a Fatso round here? - I have to wear it to a funeral!
What funeral? A woman's? - What's the difference!
Put on that hat! And I'm not fat!
Hello, hello? Who's paying for my jacket? Fatso...
You, you... all of you. Come with me!
Come with me!
Hello, hostage takers.
My name is Jennifer and I'm here for you.
We can defeat this crisis if we trust each other.
Come on!
Run! Faster, bitch...
Come on, run...
Sit down, bitch!
Drive!
Drive! Drive, bitch! - No! I need to pee.
Drive. Christ. Drive.
Is this the only road you can take?
You talk about integration every day. Why don't they integrate this road?
Keys!
Key.
Christ...
What's your name? - Katia...
You mentioned a funeral?
Yes, a girl who committed suicide. Unrequited love.
Hello!
And what's the girl's name? - Katia.
Will you stop chattering? I'm trying to concentrate.
I fear she's dead.
I fear she's dead?
Why can't you learn to speak proper Dutch!
It's your fault we raided that bloody bank!
I was to arrange the money! - Something's blocking the way.
Where?
Shit!
Fuck.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN
Does that belong to Dad? - Put that sheet back. Yes, she's dad's.
She? - Yes...
Mast always called her Betsy.
After his first great love.
I was his driver, from when I was sixteen.
We interrogated Teddy Vee on the back seat.
It took hours to scrub it clean again.
That's not even 100,000 Euros. They won't even cut him open for that.
A bank robbery. That's a great idea!
What about his car? Can't we sell his car?
Listen, dog breath, I'll only say this once.
This isn't just a car.
It's Betsy, Mast's car.
If you want to sell her, you might as well go to the hospital and pull the plug.
Understood?
But how will we get money for the liver?
Stand up! Go on! Get up!
And now...
The moment you've been waiting for... The Battle of the Titans!
The Apocalypse!
Here and now: Andrew "The Fist from Hoorn"...
...and Lars "Amsterdam Hammer" Meuleman!
That's him...
That guy's going down in the third?
Hey, the bald one... Going down in the third.
Katia says it's a fixed match. The bald one's her ex.
He's at 3 to 1.
When he goes down, we'll earn about three grand.
That's just enough for the liver.
Come on!
Christ almighty.
Is that him? - Yes.
But Bennie, are you sure...
He already had a hard blow.
What?
Hey Vuck.
Here. Wash it.
Hey, Yugo rat. I said wash it!
Don't wear it, wash it...
Hey, who are you, man?
Someone who lost three grand on you, asshole.
I wanted to take a dive!
Really, but he tripped over the ropes!
That wasn't the deal...
Well, that's not my problem, it's yours.
Tell me, what shall we do?
My jumper!
We can still save it!
Well...
...he won't pay up now.
Christ almighty.
Okay. What was the job?
I'll join in. But we share.
Did you hear that? Bennie, man. You should be happy I let you join in.
270,000 Euros. Take it or leave it.
Bennie...
Here's what you have to do. Don't mess up, eh? Fatso.
But I have a good liver.
Why don't you take mine?
No, kid.
I've had a good life.
Yours only just started. Make something of it.
Find a woman.
Have some children.
But I'm not into children.
You weren't made to be alone, Koen.
What was it we said?
Only visits during visiting hours. Come on.
We'll never get better this way.
They already gave up on me.
When your father dies, it'll be your fault too.
She fell.
What's with those women? Lt'll end in tears.
Hey!
Katia.
You had that coming, idiot.
No one can tell me what to do, and certainly not a masked Fatso!
Filthy Fatso! Filthy dumb...
I'm not fat.
Lars?
Okay. May I have your attention?
Next Saturday we'll... - Wash.
We're going to the airport to rob a money transport for Milo.
So... - So...
Martin? - We can't make it on Saturday...
We have a contest for the best quiche of the year.
So. On Saturday we rob a money transport at the airport.
Are you okay?
Put some ice on it.
Koen, you wait here in the busy-ness class lou-nge.
And how do I reach there?
How to reach there? You're not reaching anywhere, you are to wait there.
Here. How? Why should I care?
Very well, Saturday.
We start early Saturday morning... - She hit me with a ham.
Ham? - I could have been dead.
What kind of ham? Ardennes? Parma?
Raw? Smoked? - That's not the point.
Well, she caught a cold.
Stay in for a week and she'll be right as rain.
Get lost. You can walk. Come on. We're having a meeting.
Get lost? First you point a gun at me!
Then you kidnap me, shoot me in the arm and freeze me...
But I'm glad that unreliable son of a bitch Lars is dead.
I'll take you home. Come on. - Wait, we're in a meeting!
The Business Class lounge, right?
Saturday...
Yes?
Wash...
Saturday, we go by ambulance.
Give me that.
I want to thank you.
For not shooting me in the bank.
Come up for coffee. Or...? - Fine.
I think I'm confused by that whole Lars thing...
It's so weird. You get bogged down in a relationship.
It's leading nowhere, but you won't let go.
Then he two-timed me with that filthy blonde slut.
...you try to go on with your life, but I couldn't get him out of my mind.
It wasn't until I saw him in your freezer...
Make yourself at home.
I need to pee.
I'll have a shower if you don't mind.
That is, if the plumbing still works.
You can't get any good plumbers these days.
Will you make some coffee?
Oh, don't use the water for a bit!
The cups are in the cupboard on the right.
Milk is in the fridge if you want some.
Are you going to fix my shower? How sweet...
Hey, I'm down here.
Do that again? - What? This?
With your tongue, like that... - Oh, you mean this.
Have you had many girls?
Alive?
Only you...
...and my mother.
Isn't that illegal?
It happened in Belgium.
So you never want to get married again?
No, never again.
Unless it's really serious, of course.
Don't stay too long.
Wait a minute...
You mean...?
Really?
Koen! Don't mess around!
You want to... with me?
We have to go on our honeymoon first. - When?
What are you doing tomorrow?
You're a sweetheart!
Mast.
Koen, he...
Dad, I found a woman.
A living woman.
And her breasts aren't cold. And they're not hard.
They're just like two balloons full of tepid water.
And you can move them up and down.
And you can bite them. And pinch them hard.
And if you play with them long enough, they get hard tips.
That's so beautiful...
And she wants to marry me.
Sorry, would you mind leaving? - Can't you see we're busy?
Kid, give me those keys.
They're in that closet.
Car keys.
Oh, sorry...
You have to promise me, kid.
Is that the big gold car in the garage?
Yes.
I say...
LOCATION A: AMSTERDAM AIRPORT
Ticket... plane...
Don't be late, okay?
Plane. Go ahead.
Go on.
Go on!
Yes. Bennie, it's Milo.
Yes? - Hello.
How are things looking? - Fine. We're ready.
Oh, then I'll be seeing you soon, won't I?
I'm giving him some morphine to ease the pain.
Bennie.
We were going for a stroll in the hospital garden.
No, Mast. We're going flying. - Ah, flying.
As a pilot? - No, as a passenger.
No one's here yet.
We checked in far too early.
Here's some more morphine. Just in case...
Sorry I can't stay, but I have an important...
...appointment...
It's always exciting when there's a chance you could get caught.
Don't you think?
Gently... They mustn't catch on.
They're ready! The money transport has arrived!
Money transport arrived.
We should have left her in the freezer.
Bennie, take it easy with the morphine. - Why?
I think they can mend the bike in the next village.
Just a little bit...
I need to pee...
Where is he? That headcase.
Hello? I'm Vuck.
I know who you are! You're going to the plane.
And you'll do exactly what we discussed! Yes?
Koen, can you see Vuck?
Yes, he's boarding the plane now...
I'll kick that stupid halfwit... Vuck! What are you doing, man?
Come back down! Do what we discussed! Take the photo!
Sir! Would you mind going aboard?
Photo? - We really don't have time.
He's chatting to the stewardess.
What? - Please?
Very well. One photo, quickly!
What's Vuck doing now? - He has to go to the right.
Under the wing... To the right, Vuck. The right!
Right a little.
Head a little more to the right, Vuck. Right.
Vuck, move right. - Vuck is in position! I repeat.
Vuck! Take the photo now!
What's going on?
Jeanette AMV at G-731 for dispatching.
Ambulance needed urgently. Passenger hurt.
To think these corals took thousands of years to form that reef.
Drive! Come on, drive!
Drive, drive, drive, drive.
Love and marriage, like a horse and carriage...
Koen, we're going now. We'll see you at location B.
Bastard.
Did you see that? - Yes.
That guy was eating a cheese quiche.
We're not getting married!
You've been leading me on. You and that Fatso!
And I had to pay for my own ticket.
And you're not welcome at my funeral.
Here we are, champagne!
I think it was a leak quiche. - No, man.
The crust was different from leak.
HQ, who cleared that ambulance?
Who is it for?
Calm down, sir. It'll be all right.
I know a cheese quiche from...
Watch out! Watch out!
Drive. Keep driving!
I can't see a thing... I can't see...
Keep driving! Go on!
Shut the hatch and unfasten those containers!
Hey, who are you? - You're not...
Come on! Take off! Now!
Bennie! They're shooting at us!
When I return, we'd better be flying! Is that clear?
Martin, cockpit! Keep an eye on the pilot!
Unfasten that damned container!
Who was that? - The pilot.
We're going to crash! - Man, we haven't even taken off yet!
Mast, we're going to fly. Now!
No, Mast we're going to fly!
Mast! Mast!
Calm down. The ambulance is on its way.
LOCATION B: IJSSELMEER QUAY 13A
Get lost, halfwit!
Great! Come to papa!
Keep it steady! Mind my paintwork!
Hey, gently!
Don't hang on it! - My paintwork!
Gently! Let go of that thing!
Let go! Okay. We'll haul it in.
Mast!
- What?
Bennie!
Are you okay? Keep calm. I'm here.
Your ears are fine, asshole.
Hey Bennie.
Too bad about your container.
I really wanted you to have it. Better luck next time.
Keys.
Hey, fuck! Don't shoot!
Die for a dead man, Bennie.
Keys, Milo.
Now walk! You too, move it.
Relax, man. - You! Put Mast in that van.
Jump! Jump!
Jump!
Hey, fuck!
You're more likely to drown if you're dead.
You know what I mean. Jump. Jump.
And jump.
Guys.
Too bad about all that money.
I have everything I wanted.
You did all this for me.
There are sons you get...
...and sons you can choose.
Bennie! We have a problem.
All of you get out of that bus.
What was it you said?
Keys.
Keys!
Hey! Bring that thing back!
Dad? - I'm happy I knew you, Koen.
It's a pity I won't be at the wedding. - Calm down.
Mast? Damn it. Listen to me for once...
Good luck. And keep an eye on Koen.
Look after yourself, boy.
Mast! Mast!
Okay! Stop, old fart!
You can't scare me, Milo. What about you?
This is your last warning! Stop! Now! - Do as they say! Stop!
Stop!
Fire!
Mast!
Come on.
She doesn't want me anymore.
You just have to try harder.
And you promised dad. Come on.
You're attracted to her, right? See to it that she's attracted to you.
Christ! My car.
She jumped. - At last!
Who are you?
What's this? Where am I?
Well you...
...dropped in to see your fiancé.
He... - He's going...
...to marry you.
Him?
What a handsome guy.
It's been serviced.
It's standing here.
And when it takes a bend to the left...
...it veers to the right. Bear that in mind.
If you put it in fourth, take it easy. - Bennie!
Dad asked me to give you the keys.
He said that maybe we would get together some day...
Hey...
Where are you going?
To the registry office. With Katia.
Mast always sat in the back too.
TOO FAT TOO FURIOUS
Welcome to the Quiche of the Year!
And now to find out who won the Grand Prix for the Best Quiche!
Congratulations. What did you stick in it?
I'm afraid I can't tell you. That's my little secret.